By Jim Stanford on April 14, 2010
Glenn Beck's minions have fashioned a new dialect of the English language, Teabonics. Click for a guide.
With all the teabagger Tea Party protests planned for Thursday, including two in Jackson Hole, writers should offer our services to help out these patriots and make a little extra cash.
Tea Partiers, before you take to the streets to decry the polititions, contact us for copy editing of your signs. Get the correct spellings of wily words like birth “certificate,” “Constitution” and “secession.”
Your made-for-Fox media spectacle will be that much more credible, all for the low, low price of $75 per hour.
Not only will you spare yourself embarrassment, but you’ll be stimulating the economy by putting underemployed English majors to work. All while soothing the angst of grammar Nazis nerds who are driven mad by misspellings.
The more creative could join the pranksters who’ll be infiltrating the Tea Party mobs and making the demonstrations even more ridiculous.
As much as I’d like to partake in the Tax Day mischief, I’ll be too busy racing the deadline to file my taxes.
Update: D.O.G. is offering free breakfast burritos for anyone going to counter-protest or otherwise engage the Tea Partiers. The morning rally is from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at the Y intersection by Cutty’s.
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• teabaggers’ march on D.C. highlights need for mental health care reform (Sept. 16, 2009)
• what were those teabaggers protesting, anyhow? (April 16, 2009)
Posted under Business, Humor, Politics, Republican Party
My only hope is Jackson Hole Tea Partiers show a little more civility than the August 2007 Anti-War Peace Rally…
It’s hard to stay calm when your government is illegally invading foreign countries under false pretext, killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, torturing people and locking them up indefinitely for political reasons. For starters. And I’m more interested in the truth than in civility anyway.
Of course, I expect Tea Baggers to be just as vocal in expressing their rage at the government takeover of Medicare, and at Obama’s refusal to mail each one of them an individually notarized triplicate copy of his birth certificate via certified mail.
And I hope at least one of them manages to give ExxonMobil a shoutout for managing to avoid paying any income tax at all last year. Because it really is just all about the little guy.
your article is in poor taste. i cannot understand what you are so afraid of.
…but I think it’s a mistake to write off tea party movement as bunch of fringe ‘crazies’ —- sure, there are lunatics in the bunch… for every Al Sharpton there’s a Pat Robertson… but by and large, more and more Americans (see latest Rasmussen polls) are beginning to identify with TP as a whole… while the movement itself may have launched a year ago amidst anti-Obama attitudes, today it shifts towards a larger anti-Washington/political elite attitude…
…also, Pete, I’m confused when you say you’re more interested in truth than civility… It seems that’s precisely the mindset that leads one to justify such things as waterboarding, ie “torturing for truth”*********
Jim:
Anti-war protestors are no different than the Tea Party protestors and no different from Martin Luther King Day marchers. They are our friends and neighbors exercising their freedom of speech and assembly rights. Instead of ridicule, why not take a moment to appreciate we can peacfully assemble without fear of imprisonment?
I am tired of my government running up debt and taking over programs when they have failed miserably in Social Security, the IRS, the Postal Service and almost every program they manage.
I don’t want my taxes increased because Congress voted to lend money to banks, insurance companies and car manufacturers. I am not wrong because it is my view and it is not to be measured against your view. Perhaps next winter you should make a sign in the event you slide off the road and need help. It could read, “hi neighbors, only stop to help me if you have a left slanting political view”
It is time we (Americans) stop referring to each other as colors, nationalities and party affiliations. Now, you are catorgorizing people by what news channel they watch.
Sorry Jim, anti community is so yesterday.
I’m not afraid. It’s only a joke. If I can laugh at caricatures of coffee-loving liberals driving Toyota Priuses to Barack Obama rallies — http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/?s=barack+obama — then Tea Partiers should not have such thin skin, too.
I do believe most of the people at nationwide Tea Party rallies have no idea what they’re protesting, and racism is at the heart of the anti-Obama fervor.
That said, I fully support their right to demonstrate in public, and I said as much to some of the Jackson folks in person last year, even though I don’t agree with them.
I think the NY Times had the quote of the decade relating to a TP poll. Verbatim:
Some [in the Tea Party] defended being on Social Security while fighting big government by saying that since they had paid into the system, they deserved the benefits.
Others could not explain the contradiction.
“That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?” asked Jodine White, 62, of Rocklin, Calif. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t want smaller government. I guess I want smaller government and my Social Security.” She added, “I didn’t look at it from the perspective of losing things I need. I think I’ve changed my mind.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/15/us/politics/15poll.html?hp
Which reminds me…
Where was the Tea Party when Bush, et al. approved the $800B bank bailout fall, ’08?
Additionally, has any TP’r bothered to look at how the US ranks among the civilized world relative to our tax burden? Spoiler alert; the data (aka ‘facts’) dont support your cause. I know Prof. Joe the Plumber stated otherwise, but his methodolgy was flawed in that he had none.
It does not matter who is in office. American People need to stand up and start living by the principles our grandparents lived by. Be a good person, Go to work, take care of your family, stop crying, and do it without help. Sometimes you need to suffer a little to understand how good we have (HAD) it. The generation of entitlement is going to ruin us period. “Ask not what my country can do for me; Ask what I can do for my country”. Has turned into ask my country to do everything for me while I sit on my lazy ass.
Let me state for the record…the Tea Party is not anti Obama nor anti democratic party – it is about being taxed because of an over spending Congress
Thats what they say its about and it is for some but let be honest here. LOL
Then lets reduce military spending tomorrow. Its a huge chunk of the budget. Huge. Or spend 10 years tracking down the relatively tiny slivers of social program waste.
Or just completly eliminate the social safety net which keeps an estimated 15-20M ppl out of poverty. Cull the herd! The 18th century French bourgeois would tell you its a great idea…if breath could still reach their detached heads. Nicholas II’s head is still on and would love to concur, but he’s a little distracted by the Bolsheviks murdering his family.
Where was I?…oh yes – massive social disparity: A winning proposition since the beginning of civilization.
Matt,
The latest NYT poll shows that 18% of Americans identify as Tea Partiers. Here’s an interesting result:
Regardless of your overall opinion, do you think the views of the people in the tea party movement generally reflect the views of most Americans?
84% of Tea Partiers say yes, while only 25% of the general public agreed with them.
There are a lot of lunatics in the Tea Party, but I’m not sure which lunatics on the left you are comparing them to. Al Sharpton? He’s currently working on an education project with Newt Gingrich, of all people.
My personal opinion is that there are two basic types of Tea Partiers. There are the ones like Don Blankenship of Massey Energy, who cunningly use the movement for their own self-interest, and those who are simply ignorant of the way government works. Some of them are spectacularly ignorant (hence the spelling jokes); but for the most part they are people who are angry at the way things have turned out and are looking for an simple and comfortable explanation that will allow them to go hold up signs and feel involved, even if they have no clue about what they are talking about. And “government is bad” is about as simplistic as it gets. Unfortunately, reality is a little bit more complex.
And if there are some who actually know what’s going on, it strikes me as odd that they would associate with a group that is so obviously either ignorant or malicious.
As far as civility goes, comparing the search for truth to justifying torture is making a false analogy. In the first instance, we prefer civility, but would not sacrifice truth to good manners. in the second, we seek to torture for torture’s sake; we know that we will not get truth, but the truth is not the goal; violence itself is.
D: You said:
My grandparents paid into and received social security. They were the generation that passed Medicare and Medicaid. They were the generation that stood up for civil rights. They supported the social safety net. They supported the New Deal, which lead to unparalleled economic prosperity for 30 years, until our generation took a sharp turn right and destroyed the middle class.
It’s all well and good to tell people to stop crying and do something, but the reality is that some people cannot find work. And it’s the policies of the Republicans (the party which the Tea Partiers overwhelmingly support, and which has had complete control of all three branches of government in the years preceding the great recession) which have led to our economic collapse.
So go ahead and blame the poor and the minorities for sucking up those $300 a week unemployment checks from a system they’ve paid into, and ignore the trillions of dollars the political elite has handed over to financial elites of this country.
Go ahead and complain about how taxes are too high for the helpless rich, when as recently as 1963 the top marginal income tax rate was 90%, compared to 35% today. Our grandparents paid those tax rates. In fact, federal tax rates are at historic lows right now, which is the main reason we have that massive deficit the Tea Partiers hate. Here’s a link to a chart; see for yourself.
http://www.offthechartsblog.org/a-nickel-for-uncle-sam/
Humans are social creatures. None of us “do it without help.” unless we are living as hermits off the grid. And if you’re commenting here on the government-developed internets, you’re not living that lifestyle.
First off I am not a Republican. Second be honest with yourself, there are people who rightfully use the system and deserve to reap its benefits. There are also those who exploited it, I believe this is the growing majority. For example I had a friend who was laid off this last year highly educated (masters degree) but instead of finding a job no matter what it was he choose to kick back move to Jackson and ski all year (while collecting his severance and unemployment). Yes he feels guilty about it but says hey why not everyone else is doing it and I paid in so why not? Is he right is he wrong? That’s a personal choice. Should he take a job cleaning toilets at MacD’s? That’s his decision I guess but from where I sit it seems to be a growing trend. I guess we disagree on how many fall into each category. I don’t need a history lesson from you I promise I am well informed on all viewpoints. I think the Tea Party people are the biggest hypocrites of all. They are for the majority older people collecting their social security checks while bitching about socialism and tax’s. When our grandparents passed Medicare and Medicaid they assumed people would do whatever was necessary to pay their own way and then use that as a safety net. I didn’t make this up I was told this by my grandparents and great grandparents. I am not against social services but we have to be careful how we do it an regulate it because its not sustainable the way it is. One last point Medicare and Medicaid are bankrupt so how good of an idea was it? I am single male who put myself through college, and I am now working my ass off to pay my bill and make it. I know how hard it is, so please don’t give me your poor people story I have been poor for year. I am just now starting to get comfortable so I know what a struggle it is.
I bet your grandparents would have taken that job at MacD’s to or whatever else they could do to earn a buck. Ask them. Do you think the majority of people today would?
Pete,
Nice perspective-Tea Partiers are ignorant or malicious!
You may belong on the bus that seats only those who believe they have all the answers and everyone else is wrong.
If someone can’t spell, are they ingnorsnt or the victim of our failed education system?
When each of us make a decision to stop the blaming we may make progress.
Which group do you belong to, Mike Keegan?
I am a registered Republican who is pro choice and pro business. I believe we need to take care of our neighbors who are less fortunate but not with hand outs. I wish there were term limits in Congress and lobbyists were illegal. I want political advertisments to be about the candiates view not their opponent. The tax code needs to be abolished and a flat, personal and corporate income tax should be in place. I would like a line item veto to prevent all the back door deals being made in Washington. I think teachers should be paid more and more should be expected of students. I want to pull our military out of Iraq and Afghanistan and strengthen our borders to prevent illegal immigration and terrorist attacks. I respect and like the Mexicans in our community. The application process for legal immigration needs to be improved.
I think if you feel strongly enough to write something you should use your full name. What group do I belong to? I am a husband, father and neighbor- I guess I belong to the Keegan group and I don’t judge people.
Mike,
Sounds like you should join the Democratic Party.
Your very reasonable views are out of step with today’s extremist Republican Party led by Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.
Mike Keegan for President!
JS,
I may be incorrect but I believe the Republican Party is lead by Michael Steele.
You are correct thats part of the problem lol.
I could care less which sort of politico you are; I was making fun of your typo.
“If someone can’t spell, are they ingnorsnt[RETARDSIC] or the victim of our failed education system?”
Which of ^ two?*
rob, why did you ask if you could care less? give us your views.
Mike,
If you go back and read my comment I make it pretty clear that I believe what many Tea Partiers are ignorant of is the machinations of the political system, and that a few of them who can’t spell are the reasons for the spelling jokes.
I don’t see them as high school dropouts or anything. I see the politically uneducated ones as being new to politics and grasping for a quick and easy explanation for a a complex system. I know people with PhD’s in science who never progressed politically beyond what they heard on Crossfire 20 years ago. They are not stupid; they are politically ignorant. One might also guess that they are lacking in curiosity as well, but the realization that you’ve been duped tends to overcome that particular deficiency.
Not realizing that Medicare is a government program while holding a sign exhorting government to get out of health care is ignorant.
And this is the charitable description. It would not be hard to make the case that there is a third, distinct wing of the group which is paranoid and racist.