Jackson Hole Underground

Controversy erupted at the 33rd World Championship Snowmobile Hill Climb late Thursday as event organizers were ambushed by last-minute entries of hybrid snowmobiles.

The four-woman team from California-Amazon Technical School, calling themselves “Team Al Gore Rhythm,” arrived unannounced in a Toyota Prius towing two experimental sleds which they claimed burned an alternative fuel.

Jennifer Flynn, the team captain, said, “We’ve been working on a recyclables-based technology we call pre-apocalyptic craptacular fusion. Using a mixture of sea water, pulverized No. 1 plastic and shredded coated-print stock — we use Victoria’s Secret catalogs because we love the irony — we have created a 55-pound engine that delivers nearly pure energy. The gimbal-mounted flywheel acts as a gyroscopic stabilizer, too.”

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Residents of east Jackson reported being disturbed this morning by a nuisant whining noise that began abruptly and has carried on for hours.

“Dude, what is, like, someone clear-cutting Cache Creek with a chainsaw?” said Carter Stoneman. The part-time ski instructor reported feeling “shanked” when the buzz became audible over the Widespread Panic jam he was listening to.

“It sounds like someone is drilling an oil rig straight into Snow King Mountain,” said Emily Trussfund, who nearly spilled her herb tea at the nonprofit she works for, upon hearing the grating sound.

Customers at nearby Pearl Street Bagels began coughing after mysterious fumes wafted through the neighborhood. Authorities are investigating.

Nothing like a risqué costume party to heat up the January doldrums.

Saturday night’s Players’ Ball, thrown by Jackson Hole Snowboarder magazine at Snow King Resort, may have been the biggest bash of the winter. The caliber of the festivities, and the size of the crowd (800-plus?), were on par with Halloween.

Revelers came decked out in style, as seen in this gallery of images by photographer Morris Weintraub, who worked overtime to document the ball.

Skids, ski-lebrities and would-be rock stars turned out to boogie to a slate of DJs headed by the New York hip-hop duo El Gant and Portland’s DJ Wicked. The dance floors were packed in the hotel’s Grand Room and downstairs in The Lounge (née Shady Lady). The crowd was funked up.

Once the resort emptied out, the merrymaking lasted in some quarters until dawn.

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Wednesday was one of those bracing mornings when you walk outside and find it’s a lot colder than you thought.

Snow King was able to make snow round the clock from Tuesday evening to Thursday. Seemed the real cold was here, finally. No more messing around.

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It looks ugly, but by summer no one
will notice.

So says Snow King Ski Area Manager Jim Sullivan, speaking of the S-shaped gashes left on the hillside by the “World Championship” Snowmobile Hill Climb this weekend.

Any damage inflicted on the mountain by snowmobiles will be remedied, Sullivan said Monday morning, preparing to head up and begin reseeding by hand.

Officials from Snow King and the U.S. Forest Service will meet this afternoon with the Jackson Hole Snow Devils, which organizes the event, to assess the damage, Sullivan said.

“I am not saying it looks good,” Sullivan said. “We are going to fix it, and it will be just fine.”

Although the Hill Climb, in which racers ride souped-up snowmobiles straight up the King’s steep Exhibition run, typically leaves a mark on the slope, this year the tracks were particularly glaring because of thin snow cover and unusually warm temperatures.

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