god, America and golf courses

By Jim Stanford on June 27, 2011

Comments: 6 Comments

Twice as crazy: Beck is back to perform a second show on the links.

It just wouldn’t be Fourth of July in the Tetons without washed-up TV host and deranged lunatic Glenn Beck.

The fired Faux News showman is returning to Huntsman Springs on Saturday to fulfill his duty to god and country: selling high-end real estate on a golf course.

Huntsman took out a full-page ad in the Daily to announce the “patriotic” festivities, one of two full-page ads placed by the developer this week following several profiles of the family in the News&Guide.

For a second straight year, Beck will be babbling while Widespread Panic plays a concert on the west slope of the Tetons. By several accounts, last year’s sermon was a dud. Now that the conspiracy theorist has been canned by his network, Saturday’s theatrics largely ought to be greeted with a shrug.

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Glenn Beck coming to ruin your Fourth of July

By Jim Stanford on June 3, 2010

Comments: 55 Comments

Yes, really. Beck finds Idaho a good place to incite terrorism.

In a convergence that’s either beautiful or terrifying, Glenn Beck will be appearing in Teton Valley, Idaho, over July 4th weekend, while the rock band Widespread Panic plays a concert at The Spud.

The Faux News psycho pundit and hate-spewing hero of the Tea Party movement is “headlining” the community’s Fourth of July festivities, according to the Valley Citizen.

Beck has been invited by David Huntsman, one of the partners in the Huntsman Springs golf development and new boss of Sotheby’s Realty locally.

Huntsman said Beck will be speaking on the evening of July 3 after a performance by the BYU-Idaho Symphony Orchestra at the driving range on the development’s grounds on the west side of the valley in Driggs. The event will be free and open to the public.

Huntsman said that Beck’s performance as planned will be “non-political” and that Beck, who has been to Huntsman Springs on several occasions, wanted to celebrate the Fourth of July in a small town.

Beck being “non-political” is about as likely as Widespread playing a set of Vienna waltzes.

What’s really scary is the Teton Valley Chamber of Commerce and Huntsman think this is a fun idea for Fourth of July. So much for the fall of the Spud Curtain in Driggs and Victor.

A recovering alcoholic and drug addict who converted to Mormonism, Beck ought to get a kick out of the Widespread scene. Freedom for all!

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Widespread Panic to play Spud on July 4th (May 24, 2010)

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Tea Partiers: spell check services offered

By Jim Stanford on April 14, 2010

Comments: 25 Comments

Glenn Beck's minions have fashioned a new dialect of the English language, Teabonics. Click for a guide.

With all the teabagger Tea Party protests planned for Thursday, including two in Jackson Hole, writers should offer our services to help out these patriots and make a little extra cash.

Tea Partiers, before you take to the streets to decry the polititions, contact us for copy editing of your signs. Get the correct spellings of wily words like birth “certificate,” “Constitution” and “secession.”

Your made-for-Fox media spectacle will be that much more credible, all for the low, low price of $75 per hour.

Not only will you spare yourself embarrassment, but you’ll be stimulating the economy by putting underemployed English majors to work. All while soothing the angst of grammar Nazis nerds who are driven mad by misspellings.

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teabaggers’ march on D.C. highlights need for mental health care reform

By Jim Stanford on September 16, 2009

Comments: 9 Comments

Millions of patriots stand up for God, freedom and Glenn Beck.

Plato’s vision of the Republic is realized.

Someone please appoint an education czar.

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what were those teabaggers protesting, anyhow? (April 16, 2009)

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Dick Cheney’s new colors

By Jim Stanford on July 4, 2008

Comments: 2 Comments

Chairman Cheney finds himself a new countryThe bald eagle has landed.

Devious Dick is back in Jackson Hole for Fourth of July weekend, according to well-placed sources. He did not attend the parade this morning (where he might have faced a mob), but perhaps he’ll be ferried by chopper to the Music in the Hole concert, of which he and his wife are fans.

Since we’re such patriotic, freedom-loving Americans, we thought we’d celebrate this Independence Day with some ol’-fashioned Communist bashing.

Oops. Turns out the military trainers the U.S. government sent to Guantánamo Bay in 2002, under the direction of the Creep Veep, gave our soldiers a lesson in torture tactics pioneered by … the Communist Chinese during the Korean War.

The Chinese used these tactics — sleep deprivation, exposure to cold, standing for long periods of time — to “obtain confessions, many of them false, from American prisoners,” the New York Times reports.

The trainers based their lesson on a chart the U.S. Air Force developed during the 1950s as it sought to train our soldiers to resist the very same techniques.

“The only change made in the chart presented at Guantánamo was to drop its original title: ‘Communist Coercive Methods for Eliciting Individual Compliance,’” the Times reports. Nice work, keystone commies.

[In case anyone is wondering whether waterboarding, another of the tactics implemented by the Bush administration, is, in fact, torture, a journalist we admire greatly, Christopher Hitchens, says there's no doubt. Hitchens, bless him, subjected himself to waterboarding and wrote a piece about it for Vanity Fair.]

Happy July Fourth, Chairman Cheney!

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